We were at the Laundry CEO Forum a while back. A handful of us owner/operators standing around talking shop. One of them mentioned he wasn't spending as much time at one of his locations lately. Not because of finances, not because of some emergency, but because of a team member.
He didn't share anything dramatic about their behavior. No theft, no blowup, no insubordination. Just someone who, over time, made him not want to be there when they were there. The way he said it was almost apologetic.
I knew exactly what he was talking about because I've felt it too.
The Feeling You Can't Shake
You're heading to the store and you realize who's on shift. Something shifts internally. You start thinking, "I'll go later." "I can handle that tomorrow." "I don't really need to do this right now."
It's not something dramatic, and that's the issue. If a team member stole, you'd act immediately. If someone cursed out a client, you'd handle it that day. But this? This is quieter and builds over time so you don't notice it until you're sitting in your car in the parking lot, not wanting to walk inside.
It's the team member who won't put the stapler back at the front counter, no matter how many times you ask. It's the one who asks you the same question you've already answered four times. The one who always has an excuse for something in advance. The one who is negative about every situation even before it happens. The one who throws the tone off in team meetings.
None of it is egregious. But it compounds over time.
We had a team member who got the job done. Did fairly good work. But they were extra about every little thing. Notes everywhere. Someone didn't close a door? Note, toilet seat left up? Note, someone needs to do X going forward? Note taped to the wall. The store looked like a crime scene evidence board.
They weren't a bad team member. But being around that energy day after day wore me and other team members down. And that's when the avoidance crept in.
What Starts to Slip
Here's what happens next, and it's so gradual you don't see it.
I'd check the schedule, see they were working, and think, “Maybe I'll go by there later." That meant something didn’t get done right away that should have been. So now I'm staying in the store later to work on it after their shift ends. Orders didn't get checked right away. Paperwork didn't get done. All because I kept pushing things to a time when they weren't there.
Other times I'd go in early. I knew they came in the afternoon, so I'd rush to get everything done before her shift started.
I was the owner, literally sprinting to finish my work and get out of my own business before a team member clocked in or leaving as they were coming in.
And when our schedules did overlap, I was managing my facial expressions and energy so they didn't know something was off. Spending emotional energy hiding the problem on top of the emotional energy the problem was already costing me.
Everything gets affected. Not because of one catastrophic event, but because hesitation becomes your default. One person's energy creates a chain reaction across your entire operation.
The Research Says This Is Real
Psychologist Richard Lazarus studied stress for decades at UC Berkeley. His finding that surprised researchers, daily hassles, the minor recurring frustrations of everyday life, are a better predictor of psychological symptoms than major life events.¹ Not equal to. Better than.
It's not the stapler. It's 100 staplers over six months.
Christine Porath at Georgetown surveyed 800 managers and employees across 17 industries and found that